Post by cofi on Jul 10, 2007 17:27:08 GMT
"Emergency"
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now what?"
Q how do you confuse a blond?
A. draw a circle and tell her to sit in the corner
Q. imagine you're in a haunted house with monsters and ghosts surrounding you....how do you survive?
A. stop imaging!
"Jail Break"
there are 3 women who escape form a jail. a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They see 3 potato sacks on the edge of the road, and each jumps in one to hide from the police. 2 officers see the sacks "lets check these sacks" the first one says. he kicks the redhead's sack, "Meow!" she says "nothing but a cat in this one then he kicks the brunette's, "Woof!" she says, "Nothing but a dog in this one! he kick's the blonde's sack "Po-ta-to!"
"Second Opinion"
A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. "You aren't so good in bed either!" he shouted and stormed off to work. By midmorning, he decided he'd better make amends and phoned home. After many rings, his wife picked up the phone. "What took you so long to answer?" "I was in bed." "What were you doing in bed this late?" "Getting a second opinion." She replied.
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now what?"
Q how do you confuse a blond?
A. draw a circle and tell her to sit in the corner
Q. imagine you're in a haunted house with monsters and ghosts surrounding you....how do you survive?
A. stop imaging!
"Jail Break"
there are 3 women who escape form a jail. a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They see 3 potato sacks on the edge of the road, and each jumps in one to hide from the police. 2 officers see the sacks "lets check these sacks" the first one says. he kicks the redhead's sack, "Meow!" she says "nothing but a cat in this one then he kicks the brunette's, "Woof!" she says, "Nothing but a dog in this one! he kick's the blonde's sack "Po-ta-to!"
"Second Opinion"
A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. "You aren't so good in bed either!" he shouted and stormed off to work. By midmorning, he decided he'd better make amends and phoned home. After many rings, his wife picked up the phone. "What took you so long to answer?" "I was in bed." "What were you doing in bed this late?" "Getting a second opinion." She replied.
